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Harry Potter, the boy who lived.
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the-absolute-funniest-posts:

blameitonalex:
The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 
JESUS CRUST.
JAM IT!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”
LMFAO ^^
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When you get out of the shower, and realize you have no towel

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FIRST 20 TO REBLOG WILL BE PROMOTED TO THOUSANDS. YOU WILL GAIN!

rebel-bambi:

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